agentorange: (Default)
[personal profile] agentorange
Title: Gothamsingles.net, Part II
Rating: R
Words: 923
Note: Sequel to Gothamsingles.net.



To: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
From: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 5:49 pm
Subject: STOP

Don't ever email me again.

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 5:50 pm
Subject: Why?

S(tephie).-
But we were having so much fun!

Eagerly awaiting your response,
R(oman). <3

------------

To: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
From: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 5:54 pm
Subject: RE: Why?

STOP IT, ROMAN!

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 5:56 pm
Subject: Awwww.

You first, babe. For someone claiming not to want to talk, you're pretty enthusiastic about replying to my emails.

-Roman

------------

To: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
From: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 5:59 pm
Subject: I HATE YOU

BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU CHAUVINIST PIG! THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 6:00 pm
Subject: :(

Stephie-
Or else what?
-Roman

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 6:11 pm
Subject: Helloooooo?

Stephieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 6:13 pm
Subject: Whoa

Stephie,
Oops, accidentally hit "send" before I finished typing, but I forgot what I was going to say.
-Roman

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 6:20pm
Subject: Aha!

Steph,
I just remembered: Did you come?
-Roman

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 6:32 pm
Subject: You saucy wench

I'll take that as a yes.

Honey bunny.
-Roman

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 6:36 pm
Subject: Also

Stephie,
I gotta know- can you squirt? Because in my head you can, AND HOW!
-Roman

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 6:44pm
Subject: By the way

I just tracked your IP address and now I'm writing this email from my personal assistant's PDA. We are outside your apartment with binoculars. The view is spectacular. Is that a thong peeking out of your pants?
-Romy

------------

To: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
From: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 6:46 pm
Subject: LIAR

STOP IT! WHY CAN'T YOU STALK SOMEONE ELSE?

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 6:47 pm
Subject: RE: Liar

Am I lying? Have you looked out your window?
-Roman

------------

To: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
From: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 6:48 pm
Subject: I WISH YOU WERE DEAD

THERE'S NO ONE THERE, YOU CREEP! I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO ENCOURAGE YOU!

------------

To: eggplanluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 6:51 pm
Subject: The feeling is mutual.

Stephie,
The things you do to me are obscene. Ever see that porno with Malcolm McDowell, the one where he plays Caligula? Yeah, THAT kind of obscene.

We should have a movie night sometime.
-Roman <3

------------

To: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
From: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 6:52
Subject: That's it

I'm calling Batman.

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 6:55pm
Subject: Kinky.

Stephie girl,
I appreciate the initiative inviting him to join us in a threesome, but I don't swing that way and I don't share my toys. However, we can videotape it for him to view at a later date- for a price.
-Roman

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 7:19pm
Subject: I apologize

Stephanie,
I understand what I've said and done to you in the past is depraved, unpardonable, and quite likely the epitome of evil. You're a nice girl who deserves better.

I'm not asking for you to forgive me. I just want you to know that I'm truly sorry for what I've done.
-Humbly yours,
Roman

------------

To: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
From: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 7:33pm
Subject: RE: I apologize

Turn yourself in, Roman.

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 7:35pm
Subject: RE: RE: I apologize

Stephanie,
OK.
-Roman

------------

To: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
From: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 7:36
Subject: ...

Really?

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 7:40pm
Subject: For real.

JK LOL
HAHA!


-Roman
PS. I forwarded the cybersex log to everyone on my buddy list. Scarecrow says "hi".

------------

To: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
From: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 7:44pm
Subject: AD:LFKJD

I HATE YOU

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 7:47pm
Subject: Aww, you're speechless!

Sure you do. That's why you keep coming back for more.
-Roman

------------

To: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
From: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 7:49pm
Subject: Fuck you

I DO NOT! YOU'RE THE ONE HARRASSING ME!

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 7:53pm
Subject: Only if you say please.

Stephie,
I think you're projecting. If you recall, you are the one who emailed me asking to "chat". You wanted a chat, you got a chat. And now you're bitching! You're so ungrateful, Stephie. Everything with you is "me me me, blah blah blah", and when someone doesn't act the way you imagined it, you throw a shit fit.

What you need is a good, hard skullfucking.
And I'm the guy to do it.
-Roman

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 7:56pm
Subject: And

Expect me in an hour.
-R.

------------

To: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
From: admin@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 8:10pm
Subject: Warning

HailCaesarXV,

Another user has reported you for abuse. This notice is your first warning. If you are reported again, your account will be suspended.

-Gothamsingles.net Site Administrator

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 8:12pm
Subject: WHAT THE HELL

DID YOU REPORT ME?!?

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 8:17pm
Subject: FOR FUCK SAKE

I KNOW IT WAS YOU, YOU BITCH

------------

To: eggplantluvr@gothamsingles.net
From: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 8:25pm
Subject: GODDAMMIT

I'M COMING FOR YOU, STEPHIE, YOU CUNT

------------

To: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
From: mailer-daemon@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 8:26pm
Subject: Undeliverable: returned mail: see transcript for details

550 Recipient Rejected: No account by that name here.

------------

To: hailcaesarxv@gothamsingles.net
From: admin@gothamsingles.net
Date: 4/11/07, 8:27pm
Subject: Suspension

HailCaesarXV,

Another user has reported you for abuse. This is your second and final warning. Your account has been suspended.

-Gothamsingles.net Site Administrator

THIS IS MYKINDOFTWISTED, I'M JUST A LAZY ASS

Date: 2010-04-21 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suave-liar.livejournal.com
ksjdnfkjnkjnkjdngkh MY TUMMY

YOU'VE KILLED IT AGAIN

WITH LAUGHTER

well hi hi hi there

Date: 2010-04-21 02:53 am (UTC)
maskurbates: (HAHAHA)
From: [personal profile] maskurbates
SCORE!



Has it burst yet? Are you in stitches?

Date: 2010-04-24 01:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ilikeeggplant.livejournal.com
This was AMMAZZZZZAZZZZING...

Your attention to detail is ridiculous. I love it. So good. My fave part? "Scarecrow says Hi." Bwhahahha!

I think you should try doing some Jason & Roman happy fun times. Because that always makes me laugh.

It is I

Date: 2010-04-24 03:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misere-catulle.livejournal.com
Teehee! Scarey <3333

Jason and Roman super happy email fun times?! THAT IS BRILLIANT! I must do an applied study of Jay, though, to do him justice.

what the hell is this new account business...

Date: 2010-04-24 03:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ilikeeggplant.livejournal.com
Yeah, Jason's hard to write, but I think you can pretty much get the gist of him from Under the Hood. Just add in more swearing and snark.

I'm kind of hoping it's an email exchange. Because that would be amazing.

I have two Roman muses- Caligula and Catullus ;)

Date: 2010-04-24 03:18 pm (UTC)
maskurbates: (Heh)
From: [personal profile] maskurbates
I love doing the email exchanges! SO I will. Because you asked.

Heh. Hot.

Date: 2010-04-24 03:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ilikeeggplant.livejournal.com
ZOMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I can't wait!!!! :-D YAY!!! I AM EXCITE!!!
From: [identity profile] ilikeeggplant.livejournal.com
What is this hot icon bizness, I meant the muses, psssssh...

Date: 2010-04-24 07:39 pm (UTC)
maskurbates: (Blowjays- fuck yes)
From: [personal profile] maskurbates
Yeah, ok. You keep telling yourself that, girlie.

Date: 2010-04-24 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ilikeeggplant.livejournal.com
Your Mask icons do make me laugh uncontrollably, however.

Date: 2010-04-24 07:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misere-catulle.livejournal.com
OH FINE have some sexy Cillian!Catullus.

Profile

agentorange: (Default)
LARFLEEZE

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